To start with I must confess that I have just come back from the pub where I had a drink with my dear friend I. Well, really, a large and a small glass of wine, and in England, that adds up to 1/2 bottle of wine!!! and yes, it has come up to my system... so what makes sense to me tonight as I write what follows might not make much sense tomorrow. But really, does it matter???
There's something I've wanted to talk about all day and I'd promised myself that I'd come home and turn on my computer, regardless of how tired I feel... And I do feel tired!
After the visit of the crop circle on Saturday, I walked through Avebury stone circles on Sunday morning. A small village in Wiltshire that has two stone circles, a small an a large one surrounding the small one. The grass was very green and thick after the "miserable and rainy" summer we've had and walking through this thriving life brought tears to my eyes. A few times while standing inside the circle I felt the call to kneel down and thank the Earth for this gift of having brought me to Her, pay my respect to her Spirit, feel how small I am yet as important as any other living being. I play my part, I am part of the circle of life and this circle would be different without me. I have my place in it. It brought an immense sense of worth into my lungs and my heart...
© Suzisunflowers Avebury Circle stone circle Wiltshire Whats on Wiltshire 2003-2007
One specific stone called me close and asked that I lean against her. A timeless energy of patience, knowledge, steadfastness, detachment spread from my back within my belly, my legs, my shoulders and arms... I knew that this stone knew it all, had seen it all, what has happened and what will happen... She was out of time and space and she filled me a little of this "whatever happens to you may be remembered but will not matter"... Interestingly I felt, " that's true, I'm only a human being for a short while then who knows what will become of my psyche, through time and space... whatever happens to me here may be remembered in other lives but will not matter..."
As the crowd grew steadily bigger, I walked away for a 3 hours walk around the village, entered West Kennet Long Barrow, an ancient tomb showing 5 or 6 underground chambers and dating back 5000 years (if I remember well...) and walked through the Sanctuary, a place right along the main road which was a place of celebration. These two archeological sites didn't bring much emotions at the time and I walked off.
Then I fell onto a stone, of which I was told later as I described it, that it was made of flint. It was rather flat and 10 to 15 cm long, maybe 3 or 4 cm thick at its thickest and 1/2 the bottom had been split off, leaving rather sharp edges. Bi-colour, grey-ish all around but shiny dark grey and white-ish where the split had occurred. The most interesting feature was that on the top of the stone stood proud two kind of horns, approximately 6 cm apart and maybe 2 cm high. I stopped instantly, felt all its angles in my palms and I wondered whether it had been carved that way a long time ago or whether it was natural... I liked to think that it had been carved as a tool in ancient times. I was already thinking where I would put it on my altar back at home when I suddenly was short of breath... in front of me stood a small mound of earth and a beautiful circle of oak trees in several rows.
The view was breathtaking. I was in front of perfection, I felt that the most beautiful gift had just been given to me and I began to weep in gratitude... I walked around this circle in complete awe, asked permission to enter. Once inside, the stone with horns then "told" me that her place wasn't in London. I was not to take it back, her place was here in this land of richness and wholeness. She needed to "tell" me this a few times before I accepted and made sure that was the right thing to do. After thanking her for her gift I laid her down at the root of one of the oak tree. I know that a part of me has stayed behind within this stone and is growing roots. I just know that when those roots will be deep enough, it'll be time for the branches to grow - a nice image for growth happening in the unconscious before coming out in the open when the foundations are strong to support life in the outside...
Of course I've been wondering many times since then whether it was the right decision, what will happen to "my" stone when it is discovered by someone else, and maybe exposed in a souvenir shop... I do not like the ideas but deep down I only know it was the right choice - there is however no way I can explain it. And so I won't...
The last thing I want to share tonight is that I walked for 4 hours and never did I feel tired. I'm certainly not rambler-fit these days and the only explanation for me is that the land supported me and fed me with energy all that time.
I will need to go back. After Dahab in Egypt I feel that I've found some kind of home in the Avebury Countryside!!