25 June 2007

slowly seems to be the hardest word...



(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Snail-WA_edit02.jpg)


April and May have moved fast. Very fast. At least in some ways. But somehow life made sure that I slowed down, from running to slow motion to sometimes stop and contemplate. Turn around and watch if I've ever left something behind...

Most recently, today in fact, I started to ask questions about choices I've made in these last 2 months and a bit. In particular regarding the flat I'm buying... To recap quickly, I've made an offer on a one-bed flat in mid April that was immediately accepted. At the time, I thought, "cool, it's going to be quick"! The mortgage offer was at last finalised last week and I received all the paperwork at the weekend. I was really excited. After weeks of standstill, things were moving again and the solicitor was doing her part and exchange would happen "soon"... well not quite! I quickly realised, even knowing nothing about mortgages that the lender had given me a mortgage I did not want... I waited until this morning to call my mortgage broker (I couldn't possibly call him at the weekend, I'm too nice...) to learn 1. that he had been working all weekend and 2. that it was easy to swap for the one I wanted. Good day then, no?

Hang on here, the soap isn't finished. I'm sure even the worst TV soap wouldn't go down that road... but I got an email from my solicitor saying that there may be problems with the garden and the front porch that not only aren't on the lease but this latter doesn't even state that I have exclusive use of them. I must say, I don't really fancy coming back home to find half a dozen people having a drink at my front door - even if this is unlikely!

As I went to my dance class, I contemplated the idea that maybe all these obstacles were put in front of me to say "don't buy this flat" or that I was being tested. My good friend Cathy said, "Maybe you've got to really make your mind whether London/the UK is your place"... I thought that I'd had the answer for a few months already, and that it was YES.

In the dance, two things sprang to my mind. First that all these obstacles were there not to push me away and make me change my mind, but to slow me down and keep me grounded. "Your life is changing, but hey, clairem, keep it slow and take time to digest, process and enjoy!" Secondly, I'd been contemplating the idea of training as a massage therapist for a while now and the thought came up, "asking whether I can afford it is the wrong question. The question is, can I afford not to train?" and to this, the question was NO.

Slow down, slow down, breather and slow down...

1 comment:

lisamoon said...

slowing down to breathe. i think that awareness has been on of my biggest life-savers. i love that you reframed your question to ask, can i afford not to train? i experienced something similar when contemplating the new teaching job i am starting. my heart encouraged me to apply. i new i HAD to. and now i am in a teaching job that is satisfying for my mind and spirit! kudos to you, clairem for doing the dance and following your heart!