I've moved, at last!
I had "known" since last early November that the time had come. I was shown the opportunity in early February and I made it happen. So here I am, sitting in my new flat and talking about it. Yet the flat is not new to me. I used to live here a few years back. That lasted for a year or so. The flat is my ex-boyfriend's who's gone to Central and South America for 6 months. He jetted off last week.
The situation had become impossible with my old flatmate. Yet some interesting thing had come out of this situation. One of them being that in the last 2 or 3 weeks I'd decided to wake up an hour early to have time for myself in the morning before starting my working day. Not only did I love it - not the waking up bit - and found this very rewarding but it was a time when I knew I would not see my flatmate and somehow the flat was mine... Because of my outer life very busy and late nights I experienced great difficulty to give myself this extra hour in the last 10 days. And so last night, I've been wondering, "did I do that to hide from my flatmate or did I do that for myself?" Hopefully I'll find out in the next few weeks.
Yet this morning I've just given myself 40 minutes - coming to an end now - to write these few words and I'm grateful. I must give myself a chance to be what I want to be and that means let the fear out of the picture. And that means allow myself to live my dreams and take the risk of not reaching them...