the two faces of the same coin

when was the last time I didn't write for an entire week? loooong time ago...

these past days, maybe 3 weeks, my life has simply been turned upside down, or is it inside out? I've been living it to the full and I feel it is not over... I've been enjoying what I discover...

A. said to me "one step at a time". I couldn't agree more - in my head. Yet it's not what I'm doing. There's an intensity that I have never touched before about every moment of my life, about every situation, about every experience. I feel sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes extremely tired, sometimes taken aback and stunned "is this really me?"...

imagine a pound or a euro coin.
I've lived my "entire" life as one side of this coin: I knew every hill, crack, shade, curve of the imprint, colour, feel, even taste of it... then 3 weeks ago, "without warning" the composition of that coin suddenly changed, the density dropped and I fell as if through a trap door onto the other side - through the coin! On that side, there's no reference, no known rule, no safety mesh. On that side, everything looks wilder, more exciting, greener. Everything is to be discovered and I'm up for it. Yet deep down I also know that it is no more my truth than the other.

So what next? All I can say is that at the moment, I'm only observing, taking in, learning and I can feel some energy being released. How long this phase will last I cannot say and I have no desire for it to be short or long. I'm being swept along yet conscious of what is happening and I feel safe at my core. I feel real and I feel alive. Even if right at this minute all I want is to sleep...

to go unconscious?