Stone circle

To start with I must confess that I have just come back from the pub where I had a drink with my dear friend I. Well, really, a large and a small glass of wine, and in England, that adds up to 1/2 bottle of wine!!! and yes, it has come up to my system... so what makes sense to me tonight as I write what follows might not make much sense tomorrow. But really, does it matter???

There's something I've wanted to talk about all day and I'd promised myself that I'd come home and turn on my computer, regardless of how tired I feel... And I do feel tired!

After the visit of the crop circle on Saturday, I walked through Avebury stone circles on Sunday morning. A small village in Wiltshire that has two stone circles, a small an a large one surrounding the small one. The grass was very green and thick after the "miserable and rainy" summer we've had and walking through this thriving life brought tears to my eyes. A few times while standing inside the circle I felt the call to kneel down and thank the Earth for this gift of having brought me to Her, pay my respect to her Spirit, feel how small I am yet as important as any other living being. I play my part, I am part of the circle of life and this circle would be different without me. I have my place in it. It brought an immense sense of worth into my lungs and my heart...



© Suzisunflowers Avebury Circle stone circle Wiltshire Whats on Wiltshire 2003-2007


One specific stone called me close and asked that I lean against her. A timeless energy of patience, knowledge, steadfastness, detachment spread from my back within my belly, my legs, my shoulders and arms... I knew that this stone knew it all, had seen it all, what has happened and what will happen... She was out of time and space and she filled me a little of this "whatever happens to you may be remembered but will not matter"... Interestingly I felt, " that's true, I'm only a human being for a short while then who knows what will become of my psyche, through time and space... whatever happens to me here may be remembered in other lives but will not matter..."

As the crowd grew steadily bigger, I walked away for a 3 hours walk around the village, entered West Kennet Long Barrow, an ancient tomb showing 5 or 6 underground chambers and dating back 5000 years (if I remember well...) and walked through the Sanctuary, a place right along the main road which was a place of celebration. These two archeological sites didn't bring much emotions at the time and I walked off.

Then I fell onto a stone, of which I was told later as I described it, that it was made of flint. It was rather flat and 10 to 15 cm long, maybe 3 or 4 cm thick at its thickest and 1/2 the bottom had been split off, leaving rather sharp edges. Bi-colour, grey-ish all around but shiny dark grey and white-ish where the split had occurred. The most interesting feature was that on the top of the stone stood proud two kind of horns, approximately 6 cm apart and maybe 2 cm high. I stopped instantly, felt all its angles in my palms and I wondered whether it had been carved that way a long time ago or whether it was natural... I liked to think that it had been carved as a tool in ancient times. I was already thinking where I would put it on my altar back at home when I suddenly was short of breath... in front of me stood a small mound of earth and a beautiful circle of oak trees in several rows.

The view was breathtaking. I was in front of perfection, I felt that the most beautiful gift had just been given to me and I began to weep in gratitude... I walked around this circle in complete awe, asked permission to enter. Once inside, the stone with horns then "told" me that her place wasn't in London. I was not to take it back, her place was here in this land of richness and wholeness. She needed to "tell" me this a few times before I accepted and made sure that was the right thing to do. After thanking her for her gift I laid her down at the root of one of the oak tree. I know that a part of me has stayed behind within this stone and is growing roots. I just know that when those roots will be deep enough, it'll be time for the branches to grow - a nice image for growth happening in the unconscious before coming out in the open when the foundations are strong to support life in the outside...

Of course I've been wondering many times since then whether it was the right decision, what will happen to "my" stone when it is discovered by someone else, and maybe exposed in a souvenir shop... I do not like the ideas but deep down I only know it was the right choice - there is however no way I can explain it. And so I won't...

The last thing I want to share tonight is that I walked for 4 hours and never did I feel tired. I'm certainly not rambler-fit these days and the only explanation for me is that the land supported me and fed me with energy all that time.

I will need to go back. After Dahab in Egypt I feel that I've found some kind of home in the Avebury Countryside!!

Crop circle

Yes, the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster emotionally, flying real, real high before coming down hard (the positive there is that I haven't crashed!). In both cases it involved revisiting long known emotions. I learnt lots about who I am through what happened but if I had to pick one thing, then it would be that I have been able to pat (not sure of the spelling and don't have a dictionnary nearby...) myself on the back and have compassion. That is very nice indeed.

But here is why I'm babbling in a very long introduction. I had "promised" a good friend of mine to go to his mega-BBQ party today but decided after checking within myself to let him down (not without a strong feeling of guilt) and to tell him the truth (as opposed to make up a crap story to avoid upsetting him). And I made it to Wiltshire instead, to come and walk through crop circles, stone circles and see the chalk white horses that lie around in the hills... Funny enough, I got a text/sms from my friend on Friday morning telling me it was cancelled due to poor weather conditions...

I decided to start with the cop circles as the harvesting season is well advanced and if there was any chance to see some, tomorrow might have been too late... I met Rob and Sarah in the Silent Circle café and they offered me to join them as I was by myself. Very nice of them. And so, lucky as we were, one circle was newly formed yesterday morning and still there.


Image: John Montgomery, Copyright 2007
Both these images come from www.cropcircleconnector.com

One striking thing was that I completely lost track of time whilst inside the circle. I wouldn't have been able to say whether it was 10 minutes or 3h... It was actually a bit more than one, as I saw when I came back to the car.

For some reason I felt compelled to walk in the direction in which the crop were flattenned. As I stood somewhere near the centre of it (there was no way I could be sure of it) I was drawn into looking North-East and "had to" kneel down to pay respect and send gratitude. I then felt my heart open. It was heavy with a stone pushing the boundaries away, making space. The image I got from it was something like a circular stone being rolled away from the entrance of a Roman Tomb, except that the stone was inside the tomb, the heart, and not outside (if it makes any sense...)



Image: John Montgomery, Copyright 2007
Both these images come from www.cropcircleconnector.com

Next, I felt the urge to walk the outside of the circle and as soon as I started, it reminded me of a similar urge that occurred in Carn Euni (near Sancreed in Cornwall) last November. Not only the alleyways were beautiful, but the very shape of the circle got imprinted in my bones, in my breath, in my blood, in my skin, in my holy water... I felt more peaceful and ever more grateful to the crop, to the rain, to the spirits that have allowed this formation to be born.

At this stage, knowing hardly anything about crop circles, I don't mind whether these spirits are human or else. I don't know how these circles are formed and it doesn't really matter to me. I must admit that I'd love them to be NOT man-made, though.

Finally to wrap up a good day, I am staying in the most wonderful B&B. The farm dates back from the early 19th century, it is like a labyrinth in there, and it is surrounded by beautiful horses who come to you and ask for being stroked...

It was obviously meant to be a rich weekend for me! Before I close for the night, I must not forget to thank my friend backpacker/globetrotter without whom I might not have come down here.