04 April 2008

making space for the Goddesses inside

day trip to Paris.
needed to raise to the occasion.
calling on the Goddess Athena
needed her present, ambitious, clear and quick minded and rational.
present she was, pleased to be on stage and play the part again
she sent out excellent vibes
then sent in the emotional bill!

loneliness, anxiety, worthlessness, invisibility, ugliness...

"of course!" I think hitting my forehead with the palm of my hand.
dear cold, calculating, planning Athena
leaves a trail of emotional vacuum
and my inside half, three-quarter (or more?) dead!

dead!? when Paris offers
romance and sensuality
love and sex
as well as car horns
deafening underground
quiet, stunning Cour carrée du Louvre
and improvised, delightful opera soprano
in the warm early Spring evening sun.
connecting with the beauty of the site
not allowed,
'cos i'm worth it, remember?

in the end,
thanked Athena for her help
asked her to step down
til next time.
let go of emotional memories
anchored in my body
and a smile being drawn on my face.

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