Not been long in this way of life and I keep meeting more and more interesting people. I still sometimes feel very small when they talk about what they've lived and experienced and still sometimes compare... yet I've noticed how self-confidence has improved and how I can also laugh at that worthless feeling. It is lovely.
Not been long in this way of life yet I have tested/tasted a few different ways in - 5Rhythms, Qi Gong, Tantra, Shamanism, Crano-sacral... all of them radiating from analytical psychology. Of course, there are lots of other ways in that I might try (or not). I used to have high expectations before a session or a workshop, looking for the great, the amazing, the overwhelming... and it had happened most of the time.
I give thanks for these experiences that fulfilled a need.
Yet I have been more and more conscious over the last few months how I could separate entirely the experience from my day-to-day life. On a very practical level, I would leave my phone at home and would cut all possible ties, and travel alone - in order to have time to transform by the time I arrive? I would becomes irritable when people talked about their jobs or their lives back home... Interestingly, I have recently seen how I would have an experience, maybe write about it and then put it in a box on the shelf clearly labelled with a date, a name, and the transformation that took place. Then it was a question of "been there, done that"...
4 months ago or so I went to a 5Rhythms worshop and had consciously decided to not only take my phone with me but to use it. The experience I had wasn't any less important and transforming for it. For the first time, I allowed my day-to-day life to leak and enter the life in parenthesis and vice et versa. It was a very healing experience by itself. The split within getting narrower.
Yesterday I have come back from the first component of a 1-year training in shamanic healing. My day-to-day life penetrated even more this time, spreading to talking to my sister on the phone, sending emails to close friends and talking to P. and even checking with results of the rugby game between France and Ireland (France thrashed Ireland by the way, if you are interested...) Even though I have long known this is a 1-year training, resistances were strong and it is not before the third day that my body and my mind accepted that I would see the circle again and again and again...
I am learning to incorporate the teachings of this training into my dayto-day life because ultimately that is what it is all about - a way of life. I know this is going to be a real challenge but I know I have support from my circle and in particular my dear buddy A.
I give thanks to every person of this circle for making it what it is and I give thanks to all the forces of the Universe that brought us together and made this circle what it is.