12 May 2008

a new softness

another monday and another discovery on the dance floor...

tonight there was a softness about me that i do not remember having noticed in the past;
i found an acceptance within that transpired without;
i accepted to be touched by others around me and it translated by mimicking others' moves, and therefore very foreign to my usual movements;
in chaos i observed myself breathing in deeply and easily, while at other times I would have been short of breath and in need to stop for the lack of air;
i was my own spectator in Lyrical when it seemed at times that my hands and feet were synchronised via puppet-like ropes;

i was greeted by half moon as I walked out, and received a welcome into the night and its golden darkness;

last but certainly not least "i judge people and therefore believe everyone judges me. Best therefore to judge myself first, at least I know what to expect, however harsh..." yes, i had known this truth for years but tonight my eyes opened onto it in a very different way that i can not explain. all i can say is that i just KNEW it in my heart, I SAW the full impact of it on others and myself and I wondered how it will feel, eventually, to look at people not with a new eye, someday in the near or far away future...

for now, i'll just keep observing and catching myself

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